Love, an illusion?

So what is an illusion? Well, the definition goes a little something like this:  A false idea or belief, A deceptive appearance or impression. So an illusion is something that gives us a false idea or believe, and or a deceptive appearance or impression. Love, the ideal part of life, the desire to share one’s life with someone else, reciprocates that same feeling. I once told a friend of mine that in order to be in love you have to want to be retarded with someone, and they have to want to be retarded with you. Love makes you stupid, it makes you call when you know you shouldn’t  it makes you do things that a sane individual would never do. Case and point, someone out to prove their love for someone, great stories throughout the ages have rested upon such retardation.

Now these are real genuine feelings, these feelings are merely chemical reactions in your brain, the desire, the infatuation, the possessive mentality; all of this can be linked to your brain and the chemical process that takes place to enact the feeling of love. No different than alcohol or a drug that changes your brain chemistry. Through nurturing as well as natural ways we develop our idea of what is and what is not attractive. Then, when we find what is attractive we feel a need to act upon our desires to possess that quality.  Humans like many other animals in nature presumably start a mating ritual, one that we so elegantly call courting. Call it dating, talking or whatever. We strive to be around them, we dress a certain way, talk a certain way, act a certain way in order to inspire them to find us equally attractive. Males tend to find there alpha male in most cases, asserting their authority over others in order to influence their dominance in the social arena. Women tend to play the mouse role, constantly avoiding capture by their prey, influencing the male role to chase in most instances. The roles can switch and vary from person to person; these are merely archetypes to give you an example.

Once we capture what we desire, the true illusion begins. You have to understand that the illusion was not only cast at youth, but inevitably from the chase. We have been brought up to desire love, to admire love, to form ideals of what our true love would be. During the chase, we develop an idea of what that person must be, that in order for you to have these feelings and desires it must be something greater. Some ignore the love aspect and gently slope to simple desires. However, they too will tend to fall for the illusion just the same. We ultimately fall in love with an idea, not the person in general. We put them on a pedestal so to speak. History can help me prove my point, we generally hold great leaders of ancient cultures to high esteem because of their great accomplishments, yet we tend to forget that they were merely human like you and I. The legend is always greater than the man. Same with relationships, the idea you have for this person is greater than what they really are. You hold abstract ideas over this illusion and hold it to great esteem.

It’s why when going through a breakup that you were “in love” it physically hurt. Because there are physical implications to changing the chemistry of your brain, your brain is addicted to the idea, the illusion and does not want to let go. You make excuses, hold on to memories, never really willing to let go. This is detox to your drug addiction, your merely letting go of the illusion you had of this person, what you thought they were, your idea of them, not really the person themselves. Then you slowly let go, detox is long or can be short depending on your exposure. Then you realize what they were, human, just like you. Then things become much simpler as you begin to think more rationally.

This is why love is merely an illusion; it involves a false idea or believes, and is deceptive to the mind in appearance and impression. It’s why you see so many illustrations of a heart beating a brain or hear a cute allusion to the heart over the mind. Because love requires that you dissolve your logical process in order to obtain your craving.  Now, in closing I tell you the reader to go for what makes you happy, do what you feel is right and good. This is just merely a warning label plastered to the side of your heart, so be warned. Next time you find yourself in love, do it for the right reasons and accept the bond you share with someone for what it is, not for what you desire.

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